Be Gentle With Yourself

Be Gentle

I believe more and more that everything we want is on the other side of our self-hatred.

The life you are dreaming of, and the way that you want to feel, and the love that you want to share, is all on the other side of the river of our perfectionism, our self-bullying, or shitty self-talk, our insecurity, our low self-worth, and our nastiness to ourselves. If we cannot get to the other side of cruelty to the self, we can’t get anywhere in life.

This goes for EVERYTHING in life that matters: good love, good health, good service, good work, good living. It’s all waiting for you on the other side of the river of self-abuse, and only gentleness will get you safely across.

It also applies creativity.

The secret to creative living is


Empathy for the self.

Compassion for the self.

Patience with the self.

Here’s the deal with creativity: We all start our big creative project on Day One with the same level of excitement and enthusiasm.

On Day Two, we all look back at whatever we made on Day One, and we start to hate ourselves for how bad our work is, and how much we have fallen short of our aspirations.

Most people quit on Day Two.

All the “discipline” in the world will not get you to Day Three of your project, if you’re attacking yourself and hating yourself. More likely, you will slide down a shame funnel, into a vat of despair, and then you’ll do something to harm yourself (binge eat, starve yourself, hurt yourself, sabotage yourself, pick a fight with yourself or another loved one, lock yourself indoors, deny yourself a simple pleasure, drink a bottle of gin, etc…etc…) Discipline is a whip, and you don’t need the whip — it will only break you and hurt you.

Here’s what gets a healthy creative person to Day Three: GENTLENESS.

Good Day 🙂

2 thoughts on “Be Gentle With Yourself

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